I guess I'm a bad wife.

I never knew!

Just kidding... I was reading over at Homemakers who work about "give me a little help" and was a bit surprised to find out I'm not much of a homemaker.

Let us list my failings:

Laundry:
• If it goes in wrong-side out, it comes out and is folded wrong side out
• I'm not real big on folding. So I have a very long table in the basement next to the dryer with, um, shall we say a stack or two of unfolded laundry. When I noticed we're running low on towels, THEN I'll pull a bunch out and bring them up and fold them. But the whole 'fold as soon as they're done' idea just has never sunk in with me.
• Socks. You're on your own. I do not match them up. Heck, I usually can't find most of them, but any available get thrown in a laundry basket by color. Sort 'em yourself. Otherwise buy all of your socks the same type and we don't have to worry about it.
• Put away. You mean you're thinking that I will put YOUR clothes in YOUR dresser? HA!!!! You don't want to know about the stack I have sitting in FRONT of my dresser because I don't have enough drawer space.

Kitchen:
• The whole "dishwasher has to be loaded correctly" concept never caught on with me either. Husband is always coming in and correcting the way I load the dishwasher. Funny thing though... when he DOESN'T reload it, they still get clean.
• Rinse first. What exactly does this mean? Isn't that why I have a dishwasher? And if you're a "wash first" person, you and I may come to blows.
• Refrigerator. Well, at least I can say that I keep the mystery containers down to almost nothing. But that's only because I'm good with planning and creatively using leftovers. If fridge should mean nice organized shelves, then I'm toast.
• OK, I do sweep a lot. Thank goodness. But you'd be sad to know that even when I scrub, my floor still looks pretty bad. It's 47 year old linoleum, for heaven's sake!!!

Bathroom:
• Mine is fine. The other one? The one only he uses? I don't touch it. No, seriously. I don't use it, I don't clean it. PERIOD.

Bedroom:
• Next you're going to tell me to make my bed, right? Let me share this piece of information... I can make a rack you can actually bounce a quarter off of. (dangling preposition. whatever) There is NO WAY IN HELL that I am going to make my bed. Besides, I'm a bit strange in that I want my bed to look like a nice cozy bundle of blankets, not a hospital. Even at a hotel, I can't sleep unless I grab all the sheets and blankets and pull them up and out of the tucked position. Of course, I take my own blanket to hotels most of the time because I get skeeved out, but that's a different story.
• Shameful secret - The dog bed next to my bed. And it's covered with dog fur. But at least I don't let her sleep in our bed. Yuck. She's a dust pit.

Car:
• It really doesn't bother me a bit. My thought is there's no food scraps. Yes, there's usually an empty soda bottle in the cupholder and there's always extra clothes or shoes or life vests or leash or (inventorying car in mind) tire chains or winter gloves or mail I forgot to bring in or how did I leave a Mike's hard cranberry in the back, huh... well, you get the picture. It's not THRASHED, but the back of the SUV does have plenty of odds and ends.

Wow. So reading this I realized I'll never get any houseguests because I sound like a complete and total slob! Which I'm mostly not. I just figure that if the eating surfaces are clean, a bit of clutter doesn't kill anybody. I'd rather have friends over to a cluttered house, than wait until it's "spotless" and never see anybody. But that's just me. Guess who I married? Yeah, mr spotless. :)

And for the record, mine doesn't look THIS bad.


Edit: Re-reading this, I sound TERRIBLE!! So, for the record, I've always worked outside the home so perhaps that's why I feel I shouldn't have to fold your clothes or clean your bathroom. Or maybe I'm just lazy as f*#k.

Anyway, what are your shameful 'bad wife' secrets?

PS... Anonymous, please email me. it's meadowlarkgurl (at) gmail (dot) com. thank you